I’m writing about my working holiday experience(you can have a look at the previous story here.) I went to church every Sunday in Auckland. I’m not a religious person. I’ll show you how I felt.
I’m an atheist
I don’t believe in God. I’m not sure if he exists, and I’m not interested in that so much. When I’m in trouble about something, I’ll try to overcome it by making a strong effort. That’s why life is interesting. I believe in myself.
I am too cheap to be religious. I lived with Muslim believers for a while. They prepared their own temple in their house. I wouldn’t want to spend money on that. I also want to minimize what I have.
I’m a Japanese. Some people I met in New Zealand believed Japanese follows Buddism or Shinto, the Japanese traditional religion. Actually, we have 80624 Shinto shrines and 76563 Buddism temples in Japan in 2023(宗教統計調査2023). They are more than the number of schools in Japan. We have 54714 schools including all schools like kinder gardens, elementary schools, junior high schools, high schools, and colleges in 2024(学校基本調査, 旺文社教育情報センター記事). Some of us visit these places as a seasonal event about once a year, on New Year’s Day. They go there and pray to God. Looks like we have religions, but this is the only moment most of them pray. Otherwise, they don’t turn to God. According to the data, 62 percent of Japanese were not religious in 2018, but the percentage of young religious people ranging from 18~39 years old was 18 percent.
Why I went to church
For about the half year of my stay in New Zealand, I was a border of my flatmates(I wrote about how kind they were here). They were Christians. Our flatmates were a couple. The husband was really faithful to the religion. The wife seemed not so much. Every Sunday, they went to church within walking distance. They suggested going to church. I was not interested in the religion. Because of curiosity, I went there with them. Everything in New Zealand was new to me, far from the Japanese equivalent.
What going to church was like for an atheist
He let me use his clothes when we went to church. I was asked to dress nicely. He wore a suits and she wore a colorful dress. We went to church Sunday morning. We shook hands and had a small chat with people we met there. Until the service of the church started, our flatmates talked with people or just sat on a chair. I was with them, but because of awkwardness and my poor English, most of the time I listened to people. All the people looked kind and gentle. I felt like I went to school again. There are great diversity of races and ages, but, a bit similar to the schools I went to. The difference was that all the people were the friends and once you go there you can be a part of them.
Finally, the service started. Many people took turns going in front of the people and talking for a while. How long they spoke was up to them. They spoke about how they think about God, most of which I couldn’t get because of my poor listening. Some of them showed gratefulness to people like family members and friends. I thought it was great. A Japanese like me is awkward saying thank you willingly to family or friends though we do that someone does something for us. I don’t believe in God, so what they spoke about God was beyond my understanding. I have never been thankful to God. Everyone in front said Amen before finishing talking and we needed to say that at the same time.
Every day, sometimes we sang songs to a piano. And, we got a plastic cup of water and a piece of bread from missionaries and took them.
After the service, we were free to go. Some people including us went to a room to discuss the Bible. We made a circle and took turns reading a part of the Bible. A person whose role was like a teacher questioned and people lifted their hand and talked about their opinions.
I’m an atheist and not interested in the discussions, which was boring. Just I wanted to improve my listening, so I was concentrating on what they were talking about.
I quit going to church
I was really sorry when I went to church. I’m not a Christian at all. They were all Christians while I was not. They were kind and I sometimes got food from them. I felt like I was a part of them, but I was different from them. I felt kind of isolated from them when I heard what they spoke about. I also thought joining them meant betraying them as well. I was turning my face to the speakers and concentrating on them not because I was keen but because I wanted to improve my English. It appeared that they thought I was strongly interested in the God I’m not. The more kind they were, the more hesitant I was to go to church.
I ended up stopping to go to church. My flatmates looked disappointed. They had thought I had been so impressed by the Bible.
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